Today I wanted to talk about transparency. Mostly because it’s something I have a hard time dealing with.
The definition of transparent is:having thoughts, feelings or motives that are easily perceived.
That seems easy, so why is it that transparency feels so hard?
For me, it always comes down to putting myself in a vulnerable state. For example, I’ve avoided creating this type of content so far, because I was afraid to get too deep or open myself up to people that may judge me.
But no more – because transparency is important!
But why is transparency important?
When you’re transparent with your feelings and motives, who knows the doors and windows you could open up. This could be new relationships, opportunities, or even more beautifully allowing yourself to learn about others and how they are feeling and living, thus for allowing yourself to understand this world as a whole. Also on a more one-on-one level with yourself, it opens you up to truly understand your feelings, which in turn allows you to process those emotions very pragmatically.
This can be hard when you care what others think… and don’t say you don’t care what others think… be honest with yourself.
This has always been hard for me to achieve because I used to care so much about what others thought. I just wanted to be the best version I could be for them, and make them happy, yet for two decades I was sad and not happy, left unfulfilled, and always hiding parts of myself to make others feel like they were shining instead of allowing myself to glow.
Once I decided to connect with my authentic self and be truthful in my feelings and opinions, allowing myself to be transparent in the process, a-what-you-see-is-what-you-get-kind-of-person, happiness found me and stayed. It wasn’t a flippant happiness that comes and goes as it pleases, and I’m also able to give myself more fully to others because I’m just me.
Transparency is also great for self-love.
Self-love and self-care is something so important for our spirit and even in more human terms, for our mind. Our mind will tell us horrible lies in order to shield us from pain, as a sort of survival instinct, but allowing ourselves to love us first and foremost, brings forth a love that is neverending. Transparency is so important when learning the basics of how to love yourself. Being transparent with yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself, but make sure to look in the mirror and be kind at what you see. Keep in mind the negative things you may ”feel” are true. Because you are everything you need in this life, and quite frankly the only thing you really ever have, you need to practice looking in the mirror and offering sweet nothings to the person that holds your beautiful life and spirit, quite literally in their hands.
If you feel ugly or fat or too skinny or dumb, whatever the negative case may be, take a moment to look at yourself and find one thing you like (even if it’s just sort of or feels like a stretch).
An exercise to try for self-love:
When I was lost in my mind the deepest, I tried this exercise. I couldn’t find anything to even sort of like, but I focused on my eyes. I have a lazy eye, but I still liked the shape of them sometimes. So I would close them and image white light glowing around my eyes and how beautiful they were. How reddish brown they were, which I felt was unique, the way my eyelashes were so long, how I loved to do my makeup… I love my eyes, I love my eyes, I love my eyes… Thank you, thank you, thank you for such beautiful eyes…
And no, the first time I did this, I didn’t feel better. It was the third and fourth time that I started sort-a-kinda-believing it. It was the self-love seed I planted because I was transparent with myself in a positive way.
This led to taking better care of myself by setting and reaching goals. It all started with that one eye exercise though. Now, self-care is sweetest with meditation & bath salts, but it truly means owning yourself and allowing everyone to see you for you.
You are exactly where you need to be and I’m so happy to be with you now.
Let me know down below on the hardest time to be transparent so we can talk about it, but most importantly mystics, don’t forget to share your magic!
Much love and blessings,